Self-Improvement: Break Free From Your Past

It is an accepted fact that even those that appear whiter-than-white have one or two skeletons lurking in the closet. Films and television tends to teach us that these secrets are explosive – murder, abuse and so on – but for the average person, they’re far more mundane than that.

Have a think about your past – are there any issues that you remember immediately, and recoil at the memory in the same instance? These are the experiences you need to focus on. To truly move on in life, you need to learn and accept your past – be it an embarrassing moment or something far more sinister.

To begin, write down the experience in full. If it is something embarrassing or you’re ashamed of it, don’t worry, only you will ever see it. Write down exactly what happened, why it effected you so badly and what kind of effect it still has on today. Instead of recoiling and dismissing the thought, spend a good half an hour actually thinking about it – for some, this is the first time in decades that they’ve really relived in the memory in full, and the process can be liberating. However, it can also be upsetting, so try and bear in mind that you’re doing this for the greater good.

With the entire incident written down, send it to yourself in the post. When it arrives, open it and read it again. As this is happening on a fresh day, it allows time for perspective and sense to come through and you should feel slightly differently to how you did at the time of writing.

At this point, if there’s something you can do to rectify the past, do it. It may be contacting someone you had a fight with or apologising for past behaviours, it could even be something extreme like going to the police. If you can do something, then do try and do it, for only until the issue is resolved can you really move on. Force through the awkwardness, telling yourself that at the end of the road a calmer, happier you await. After all, a short period of unpleasantness is infinitely preferable to more years of misery at a certain memory.

With this done – or if it wasn’t something you could rectify – then complete the exercise by destroying the written text. Fire, as long as it is done safely, is most people’s preference for this, as you can watch your past burn away slowly rather than a sudden and almost violent action like tearing it apart. Watch the past smoulder and try to finally release all that negative energy surrounding it.

You may need to repeat this process several times, and in fact it may even be best if you do. But by confronting an uncomfortable past, you are opening doors for a more pleasant future. Good luck.

Self Improvement: Breaking The Pattern

One of the things a human being needs above all is change. Even people that claim to be creatures of habit like a little variety from time to time. Getting stuck in a rut and living the same monotonous life every day would wind anyone down, and you can instantly improve yourself by breaking free of these self-imposed restrictions.

It is often assume that only wholesale changes apply to getting out of a rut, such as leaving a bad relationship or getting a new job. The truth is much more trivial than that, and those in jobs they like and marriages which are loving can still feel worn down by the repetitive nature of their lives.

One of the biggest causes of repetition is traditional, that one thing that tells you time and time again to repeat the same actions. And all just because you’ve done it before. Every Christmas, for example, you find yourself eating the same food, with the same people and getting bored singing the same songs. It might be ‘tradition’, but unless you enjoy that tradition, it’s utterly pointless. This applies to everything where tradition exists; unless you still actively enjoy the activity and would do it even if it weren’t tradition, stop doing it!

Changes in even smaller phases like that can rejuvenate the mind. To begin, go for those things that really seem pointless – such as watching a different genre of film from your usual, changing your IP provider or buying a different newspaper. You might not like the experiment, but even small differences can help stop you from feeling like you’re just living Groundhog Day.

For the ultimate feeling of breaking the pattern, do something that you’ve never had the courage to do before. Maybe you’re always wanted to try skydiving but have been too scared, or you’ve had a crush on someone in your office but have never had the courage to say something. In these instances, simply ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen?”. By running through the worst case scenario, you’ll find it loses it’s fear. This type of thought processing is known as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and is widely accepted by psychologists across the world as genuinely having the power to change lives. By facing your fears and doing something completely different, you’ll unleash a feeling of new energy unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.

Self Improvement: The Body Beautiful

When asked what are of themselves they’d like to improve the most, an overwhelming majority would respond with an answer relating to their physical description. Issues people have with their bodies are wide ranging, even if the supposed problem is inconceivable to others. If it matters to you, it’s important. By improving whatever body issues you have, you’ll find your general state of being much more relaxed and happy, and you’ll probably be looking fabulous, too.

One of the biggest problems people have with their bodies is their weight. This can range from feeling too big or too thin, to just not liking their shape. By deciding to finally do something about whatever it is that bothers you, you’ll almost feel better immediately.

If you need to lose weight, then join a healthy eating plan. Note the non-use of the word “diet”. Learn to eat well, regularly and allow yourself the occasional treat. If it helps, consult a dietician for advice. It is always best to seek someone calling themselves a “dietician” and not a “nutritionist” – dietician is a protected term (such as Doctor) whereas anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. The truth remains that simple methods are the most effective, so while the latest diet craze may be supposedly having wildly spectacular results for others, in the long term a plan of sensible eating will work the best.

Even if you’re happy with your weight, exercise is hugely beneficial and should be encouraged for all. Exercise produces endorphins, known as the feel good hormone, and many find their natural disposition is greatly improved by regular exercise. Self improvement is all about feeling better, after all.

You don’t have to go the gym to exercise; literally anything that increases heart rate is classed as aerobic exercise and is therefore encouraging the body to produce endorphins. Of all the hundreds of ways to increase your heart rate, there is going to be something you enjoy. Once you’ve found it, the benefits are two fold – you enjoy the activity, while getting the resultant buzz from the endorphins and keeping fit, too.

Very few physical problems are utterly insoluble. If you really think fixing a body issue will make you happier and improve your life, then there is no reason – nor any social stigma – that should discourage you from doing it.