Self-Improvement: Break Free From Your Past

It is an accepted fact that even those that appear whiter-than-white have one or two skeletons lurking in the closet. Films and television tends to teach us that these secrets are explosive – murder, abuse and so on – but for the average person, they’re far more mundane than that.

Have a think about your past – are there any issues that you remember immediately, and recoil at the memory in the same instance? These are the experiences you need to focus on. To truly move on in life, you need to learn and accept your past – be it an embarrassing moment or something far more sinister.

To begin, write down the experience in full. If it is something embarrassing or you’re ashamed of it, don’t worry, only you will ever see it. Write down exactly what happened, why it effected you so badly and what kind of effect it still has on today. Instead of recoiling and dismissing the thought, spend a good half an hour actually thinking about it – for some, this is the first time in decades that they’ve really relived in the memory in full, and the process can be liberating. However, it can also be upsetting, so try and bear in mind that you’re doing this for the greater good.

With the entire incident written down, send it to yourself in the post. When it arrives, open it and read it again. As this is happening on a fresh day, it allows time for perspective and sense to come through and you should feel slightly differently to how you did at the time of writing.

At this point, if there’s something you can do to rectify the past, do it. It may be contacting someone you had a fight with or apologising for past behaviours, it could even be something extreme like going to the police. If you can do something, then do try and do it, for only until the issue is resolved can you really move on. Force through the awkwardness, telling yourself that at the end of the road a calmer, happier you await. After all, a short period of unpleasantness is infinitely preferable to more years of misery at a certain memory.

With this done – or if it wasn’t something you could rectify – then complete the exercise by destroying the written text. Fire, as long as it is done safely, is most people’s preference for this, as you can watch your past burn away slowly rather than a sudden and almost violent action like tearing it apart. Watch the past smoulder and try to finally release all that negative energy surrounding it.

You may need to repeat this process several times, and in fact it may even be best if you do. But by confronting an uncomfortable past, you are opening doors for a more pleasant future. Good luck.

Feeling Charitable?

Many who embark on a course of self improvement see giving money to charity as one of the easy ways of making themselves a better, selfless person. This is infinitely true, and giving to charity wherever possible is always a wonderful thing to do, but if you don’t have much spare cash or are unsure about which charity to choose, you can still help.

Charitable giving is one of those things that everyone means to do, but never gets around to. If you are genuine about improving your sense of self, make today the day where you actually do something. If you do decide to give money, first be sure you can afford it – there is little point in rendering yourself financially troubled just because you gave to charity. The whole point may be to help those less fortunate than yourself, but not by making yourself unfortunate.

With this kept in mind, find a charity that you feel passionate about. There are major national charities which get a lot of press and airtime, which subsequently leads to a lot of donations. Occasionally, instead of giving to one of these institutions, look around the internet for a smaller charity. The more obscure an illness, usually the less funding it gets – but that doesn’t mean it does any less of a job. These people still need help, and your money will be more useful to them. Still give to the big national charities, but do mix it up a little and vary your giving.

That said, only choose three charities at most to donate to. While you may just be giving for the sake of giving, it is important to think about what can be done with your money. If you have $100 to give, and split that between five different charities, each organisation only gets $20. Instead, select just two institutions and suddenly your money goes a lot further. Just remember that next time you donate, you can give to two completely different charities. Over time, your giving should even itself out.

But what charities need, perhaps even more than small donations, is your time. For true self improvement that is more than just a neat lifestyle choice, instead of giving cash, give yourself. This can include fund-raising, helping to promote awareness or just general administration work. If you have a particular skill – such as web designing or arts and crafts – offer to your chosen charity for free.

By doing this, you really will be improving your character. Giving just cash, all the time, can be a little too easy – but by actually helping a charity to function, you’re doing much more for the greater good. Experiences like these can teach you things that will change your life as a whole and make you a better, happier person – which is exactly what self improvement is all about, after all.

Tips for Self Improvement: Appreciating What You’ve Got

Perhaps more people than would care to admit it always want a little bit more from life. It can be anything from a bigger house to a faster car, and while ambitious thoughts should always be encouraged, they can also be damaging.

The problem with always striving for something bigger or better is that you can lose sight of the good things you already have. Modern life is so frenzied; we live in a world seemingly obsessed with statistics, targets and goals and amidst the desire to reach the next level, the current level can be completely ignored. And the current level might not be so bad, after all.

One of the keys to self improvement is learning to accept your lot in life and what you have. If you never grasp this seemingly simple concept, the quest for more is never ending. Many people work themselves into the ground in their desire for a bigger house or faster car, only to discover that when they have the object of their affection, it has lost it’s lustre. Unless you learn to appreciate the now, you’ll be needing to buy cars faster than the speed of sound and houses the size of ancestral homes before you can sate the desire for more.

There is, of course, nothing wrong with wanting a better life. But the key is to balance it with your current life. Reality talent shows have brought screaming wannabes to the masses, all of whom proclaim an endless desire for fame and fortune that has pushed them to the limits of their sanity. Yet, for the lucky few who do indeed make it, they find the life they so desired was not all it was supposed to be. With every new level you attain, there is another set of problems.

To begin to appreciate the life you have, all you need to do is try and focus on the positive aspects rather than the negative. One good trick is to finish each day with a list of three things you enjoyed that day. Even if it’s something as simple as what you ate for lunch or a program you saw on television, it’s a positive end to a day which helps channel the mind into appreciating life as it is. There’s no harm whatsoever in striving for better, so long as you retain a sense of perspective. After all, as the saying goes, be careful what you wish for – you just might get it.