Self-Improvement: Break Free From Your Past

It is an accepted fact that even those that appear whiter-than-white have one or two skeletons lurking in the closet. Films and television tends to teach us that these secrets are explosive – murder, abuse and so on – but for the average person, they’re far more mundane than that.

Have a think about your past – are there any issues that you remember immediately, and recoil at the memory in the same instance? These are the experiences you need to focus on. To truly move on in life, you need to learn and accept your past – be it an embarrassing moment or something far more sinister.

To begin, write down the experience in full. If it is something embarrassing or you’re ashamed of it, don’t worry, only you will ever see it. Write down exactly what happened, why it effected you so badly and what kind of effect it still has on today. Instead of recoiling and dismissing the thought, spend a good half an hour actually thinking about it – for some, this is the first time in decades that they’ve really relived in the memory in full, and the process can be liberating. However, it can also be upsetting, so try and bear in mind that you’re doing this for the greater good.

With the entire incident written down, send it to yourself in the post. When it arrives, open it and read it again. As this is happening on a fresh day, it allows time for perspective and sense to come through and you should feel slightly differently to how you did at the time of writing.

At this point, if there’s something you can do to rectify the past, do it. It may be contacting someone you had a fight with or apologising for past behaviours, it could even be something extreme like going to the police. If you can do something, then do try and do it, for only until the issue is resolved can you really move on. Force through the awkwardness, telling yourself that at the end of the road a calmer, happier you await. After all, a short period of unpleasantness is infinitely preferable to more years of misery at a certain memory.

With this done – or if it wasn’t something you could rectify – then complete the exercise by destroying the written text. Fire, as long as it is done safely, is most people’s preference for this, as you can watch your past burn away slowly rather than a sudden and almost violent action like tearing it apart. Watch the past smoulder and try to finally release all that negative energy surrounding it.

You may need to repeat this process several times, and in fact it may even be best if you do. But by confronting an uncomfortable past, you are opening doors for a more pleasant future. Good luck.